I ask myself this question in the early hours of the morning when I can’t sleep. I’ll be holding my stuffed animal the same way I did 20 years ago. I look back and think about the days when everything was decided for me. The days when recess was the highlight of the school day. The days when I woke up every morning to the sound of my mother rummaging through my closet, picking out that day’s outfit for me. It all seems so long ago in a completely different life. It’s almost as if there was no transition – that I just woke up here in my almost 23-year-old body with a college degree under my belt and a ring on my finger.
It all happened so fast. It sounds so cliche, but, my God, is it the truth! You spend your whole life in school dreaming of the day when you can be an adult and do whatever you want to do, where you’re not bogged down with homework assignments and papers. You think that being an adult means people won’t be telling you what to do. And that you’ll be free. But it’s the complete opposite. You want to know what the complete opposite of freedom is? Bills. Student loans.
And then you finally and all of sudden arrive at adulthood and have no idea what you’re doing.
Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner is a milestone because it didn’t come from a drive-thru window. You watch Netflix documentaries on fighting crime or saving someone’s life in surgery. And you sit there on the couch with a mouth-full of PB&J thinking, “Why can’t I be like them?” And then you have a pity party for five minutes and you listen to the same Taylor Swift “RED” album that got you through all four years of college. And you’re right back at trying to figure out this thing called life.
I will say this though, If I was successful at anything, it was finding a Godly man. Somewhere in the middle of the chaos of college, the craziest, most unexpected thing happened – I met an incredible man on a blind date. I was 100 percent sure I had found The One, but I still found myself asking, “Am I ready for this? Can I do this? Do I have what it takes to be a wife?” And every time I looked at Colin, it was a resounding “Yes.”
Yes, you are ready for this. Yes, you can do this. Yes, you have what it takes to be a wife. There was no question that this was the person God had made me for – marrying him was the easiest decision I have ever made.
So, I graduated college, found my husband, now for the huge question of what does my future career look like? And the answer has been and always will be writing. I was born with a love for it and college taught me how to use it. Writing will take me wherever I was meant to be because that’s where my passion lives. Find something you love to do and you’ll never work a day in your life.